Tuesday, January 27, 2009

i'm missing the past...

I woke up at 10plus today happily waiting for your call.
I've got all prepared, what to bring over to your house, what to wear to visit your granny.
Finally, you woke up at 11plus and call me.
I anxiously asked you, what time will you be coming over to my house and than going back to your hse together.
You sounded so shock.
You forgotten totally that we are surposed to meet today.
You blame me for not reminding you :(
Will anyone forget about bringing your gf to do hse visiting? i don't understand dear.
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Yesterday, there wasn't any calls or msg from you at all.
I don't dare to even msg you, cos i know you might be busy so ya...
Finally, i called you at around 10plus at nite and you did not answer.
You just msg me this: "i playing mahjong now"
Understanding that you are not convenience to talk so i just take it.
There wasn't anymore msg from you even when i did msg you that i will be sleeping soon.
No reply. It was already 1am at that time.
I called you alround 2plus and was worried. cos i thought usually u will still at least send me a good nite msg.
You totally forget about me.
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See... don't blame me for always comparing how you treat your frens and how you treat me.
This wasn't the first time already.
You can remember to meet up with them ytd and forgot about meeting me today.
Meeting your fren and meeting me were all planned last week.
Than you got pissed off and saying i always got a problem with your frens? huh?? Who will not go compare rite?
Dear, when will you ever understand? We must both do our part rite? Did you?
I tried to understand you and knowing that you were with your frens ytd so didn't dare to even msg you, i'm afraid i will disturb you.
But now you are pissed off with me being not understanding?
You told me you are tired today and better dun meet.
So i thought i should be the one being not happy, but you get even not happy with me.
Quarrelled again.
Thats it, same problem appears again and again.
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I asked when will you ever really go think this problem.
You refused to do so.
You said it will just get you frastrated.
You choose to run away.
You choose to leave me there crying alone.
You leave me there thinking that i'm ain't that important to you.
You make me wanna give up.
You blame me always wanna break up with you.
I did not bare to do it eventually.
You mean so much to me.
You are always being all out to your frens.
I know i can't changed you so...
I decided to compromise and tell myself to change.
Change to someone:
that always waiting for you to call.
that always waiting for you to say when to meet.
I'm always waiting for you.
It had been going on for almost 2yrs.
There was time you work so hard and i understand and never asked much from you.
There was time when you have so many off days... you choose to meet your same frens more than spending time with me.
You never thought of making up the lost time with me.
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I missed your old self dear...
I missed how you shower me with your care and concern.
I missed you saying you wanna meet me cos you missed me.
I missed you planning to go out with me or even plan to catch a movie with me.
(you don't care about all these already, it always i'm doing the plan)
You don't mind whether meeting anot.
I'm i asking too much? Its just so simple isn't it?
I feels neglected... it had been so long....
that you finally said:
"Since it had been so long already just continue with it lor..."
Continue being neglected from you?
Dear... aren't you being selfish?
You know i won't give up on you so are you taking it for granted?
I always cried about it... all you tell me is : "always only know how to cry cry cry...."
Why do i bother to tear? cos i care... cos you meant so much to me....
I missed you telling me not to cry cos you will feels pain for me.
One thing that keep me going on with you... is you really do love me alot too.
I missed our past so much dear................
I really do miss.............

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